I'm tired.
Not just because I was up until 4 am last night. Life is making me tired. It just keeps rushing on and on.
Classes.
Homework.
Work.
Friends.
Relationships.
THE FUTURE.
There's never a moment when one of these isn't looming in the back of my mind. The older I get the larger the pile-up of worries grows in my mind, like a pile of dirty laundry growing in my closet. The laundry is easy to get rid of. I simply have to quit being lazy and carry it 50 feet to the laundry room. The worries aren't so easy to wash away.
I sometimes wish there was a pause button I could hit to stop the rush of life, if just for a moment. If I could stop the ebb of time I could stop the perpetual pile up of worries and stress. All I want is a few days without anything to think about, with nothing to plan for, no assignments due, and to be relied on by no one. A few days of solitary nothingness to just catch up on some much needed rest of my mental state. Because life is tiring.
I guess going to bed earlier could help too...
Something I have learned, worry doesn't make it happen...things always work out if they are allowed to, always have, always will. While I don't believe in predetermination, I do however believe that if we push on closed doors hard enough, we are trying to interrupt the balance of the universe. So, if we just let that door go, let the universe handle it, we will most likely find that it opens the other way anyway...Doors are not in our control, we walk through them or pass them by, that much we can control, but what path the door leads to, cannot be controlled by us, so worrying only messes with our vision, covers our eyes, so that the paths that are open, we cannot see. Just let it go, all that stuff will work out, or not, anyway. And sleep is over rated. :)
ReplyDeleteI'm tired too. I just see the end of my bachelor's degree tunnel upon the horizon and want to be done. I plan on continuing on in my education, but I agree, it's rushing too fast and I feel like I'm living for the next day, and that day doesn't come fast enough.
ReplyDeleteThe last month or so of my life has been going in 16x fast forward and it's left me quite winded. Between graduating and attempting to figure out grad school and planning my move, I'm so ready for a break. I've made the wish for a pause button many, many times in my life, and it's very frustrating that it will never happen.
ReplyDeleteThis is some solid advice right here:
ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6wS5xOZ7Rq8
And if that fails, there's always the option to take some time off. Don't let the American way push you to finish college and get a job and do everything in the "proper" manner. If it's causing a lot of stress, it might be good to look at other options.