Actually it's not really. The question I mean. I have to post on this blog if I want to do well in my Adv. Non-Fiction class, so I really didn't ponder over whether I would or would not blog, in fact I'm not really sure why I even titled it thus. The real question is what to blog, what to blog? Which I haven't really figured out yet. I guess I'm in the process since I have this much written already, but what is this blog about? I sort of want to delete whats written so far, but its 5 o-clock in the a.m. right now and I've procrastinated so dismally well so far, that I'm afraid if I delete these past few sentences that I might just give up and go to bed. Though then I guess the question posed by the title would indeed be valid... except the title would no longer be there, and none of what I've written would matter.
I guess this is what happens when you say "fuck it" and dive headlong into a post with no real plan or theme or even any idea where in the world you're going. Maybe this represents my life... Ah Ha! Here it is. I've come to a point of meaning in my ramblings. It's taken me all this nothing to come to realize that this is how I approach a lot of the things in my life.
Lets take college for instance. I'm in my third year here and I still don't have much of an idea of what I want to do with my life. Sure I'm doing well with my English major, but I have no real idea where I'm going with it. I just sort of dove headlong into it and now I'm almost done. I'll graduate at the end of this year since I came in with too many credits from high school dual credit classes. And then where will I be? I'll be like where I am now, at the end of this post, not sure if the path I just took was the right one, and not sure where to go, realizing that I probably should have planned ahead.
Yet... despite having just written that rather depressing sounding sentence about my so far listless life, I can't find it in me to be overly concerned about my future. As my class adviser once said to me, "You have a very positive outlook on life, and as long as you don't get cancer or become maimed in a terrible accident, you'll be just fine." Yes he actually said that, or something along those lines. I hope that he's right.
I actually like the way you opened this by saying you have nothing really to say, but then it turns into a very significant philosophical pondering on the future, college, and what next. As Rilke says, Learn to love the questions.
ReplyDeleteI really liked this. I agree with Anne I like how you start off not knowing what to say then it turns very introspective. Take from someone who has been (and is) in your spot. Not knowing what you want and having that "oh shit" moment is not a bad start. I would say you'll do just fine. Just stay aware of yourself.
ReplyDeleteFirst off, I'm a little jealous at you only having to take three years. All of my high school dual credit classes were worth squat. Go figure.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, I'm going to join the general consensus here. Sometimes it is the things we don't know how to express that say the most.
You, sir, are much better at having nothing to say than I am. Whenever I try to adopt that "fuck it, I'm going to do this and see what comes of it" mentality, I end up obsessing over whether or not it's good enough, and usually delete it.
ReplyDeleteOh yeah baby! Hitting the books with no clue what I'm going to do with all this knowledge is where I'm at too. I just have a first reaction and thats the one I go with every time. Is it working? I still couldn't tell you, but I'm alive and thats considered a win in my book. I wont even say embrace the future like most would, instead let it come to you!
ReplyDeleteA great post...begin with nothing and run with it. Perhaps I should try writing at 5 AM. I wouldn't worry too much about where you are going...I still haven't figured that out...all I know is that I'm headed that way -->
ReplyDelete*shrugs shoulders and points toward oblivion*